Being someone who tells other people to be confident in their abilities can often lead myself to feeling empty and not good enough in return. Believing it for other people, but not yourself is draining on all levels. Senior year has posed this challenge many times giving me the choice whether or not to believe what the enemy has been trying to tell me. In these past few months, I’ve finally given myself a chance at things I’d usually say “no’ to. I think its stemming from it being my last year in high school. I don’t want to be left with regret so I have done some CRAZY things the normal Emma wouldn’t have ever done in the past.
I’ve had crushes in the past, but never did anything about it. I mean, WHO WOULD pursue something so innocent and little as a middle/high school crush fully aware nothing would come of it? Senior year, however, I’m laying it all out there. I finally stopped asking what if. Send that darn boy a text! Tell that person you like them! WHY NOT?!!? After taking that advice for myself, that boy and I went on a hike and talked for hours realizing how much we had in common. I’m having so much fun this last semester because I took the chance so many people pass up.
Scholarships can be a hard mountain to climb. The effort you put into one, writing random essays here and there, knowing many other kids in your state are applying to the same one you’re applying for, is hard to keep your confidence to push through. In the wise words of Shia LaBeouf, JUST DO IT. Stop the doubt. You never know what can come from that split second of vulnerability you allow yourself to have. I am attending a very large university next fall and it ain’t cheap whatsoever. I put in the effort and time to write a few essays for the scholarship the committee was gifting to a select few students, and I got a call back three months later to tell me I had won. The kicker? I didn’t just win the small one I applied for, but instead received the full tuition and mandatory fees for all four years of my schooling. NEVER ONCE EXPECTED. That’s the beauty of it, though. When you least expect it and do get something you put in effort towards and GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE to receive something, you will be surprised at what’s waiting for you on the other side of the doubt and insecurities you’re feeling in that moment.
My word of encouragement to you today is stop waiting around in fear and doubt. It’s painful and quite frankly gets old when that feeling is constantly in your mind. Let it all go, and give yourself the chance you deserve and the chance you give so freely to everyone else around you.